Adam and I have been traveling together for some time now. Our first trip, to Terranea, a beautiful luxe resort on the California coastline, was just the beginning. Since then, we’ve been on cruises (both abroad and at home) and have visited various resorts. While live together (obvi, we’re married!), traveling together is super different. So, here’s the truth behind couple travel and some tips to help when things get rough.
YOU SEE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE SAME PERSON
The first thing that I notice when Adam and I travel is how different he can be. Oftentimes, at home, Adam is super stressed because of work. When we’re traveling, especially for an extended period of time, he is relaxed. He jokes (more than usual) and he’s constantly smiling or laughing. I’m laughing too, because he’s a lot funnier when he’s not thinking about work or work-related things.
I already ask Adam to take snaps for me while we’re at home (especially if I’m working on an Orlando-based blog post), but I know that I go into overdrive when we’re on vacation. I might ask for the same exact shot over and over and over again or I’ll do that whole fake-walk (the one where I rock back and forth like a weirdo) in front of a ton of different landscapes or landmarks. I’m sure that it frustrates Adam but he’s kind enough to deal with the whole “sunset heart hands” version of me. For those that have seen that commercial, you know what I’m talking about. I also don’t think I’m that over the top.
PERSONAL SPACE ISN’T THE SAME
During the work week, I leave at 7:00, Adam leaves at 9:00, I return at 4:00, and Adam returns at 6:00. We are both given lots of opportunities to be alone. We can enjoy peace and quiet while doing things that we all might like to do at home, like using the bathroom (I mean, I had to include that somewhere, right?).
I am super weird about working out and like to do this alone. Adam often gets my teacher glare when he comes in, especially when I’m doing burpees or something. I’m sure that Adam likes to sit on the computer in silence (you know, without my constant chattering) and browse Facebook or whatnot.
While on vacation, all of those boundaries are broken. Since I don’t run, I often have to workout in the room (unless I feel like working out in front of strangers at the fitness center – um, no!) and Adam has to either listen to my train of thought or put on his noise cancelling headphones in his kind attempt to tell me to be quiet.
Oh yeah, and the bathroom. Yeah, I don’t have to say more.
COMPROMISE IS REAL
A lot of times, if there’s something that I want to do and he doesn’t, I’ll ask a friend to go. That isn’t an option on vacation. So, when Adam and I travel together, we have to compromise – and sometimes, it’s a lot.
We go on some pretty intense hikes when we go on our adventure-trips. So, we compromise. I stop when I can’t go anymore, which is usually due to my need to feel safe and secure when I’m scaling a mountain, and he goes on. I’m sure he’d be happier if I went with him (and he usually apologizes for my having to wait) but I don’t mind. I’d rather him be happier seeing the view without my whining.
Sometimes, he has to visit a museum or eat at a restaurant that he isn’t too interested in. Adam isn’t a big fan of museums but sometimes he has to suffer through them. He had to eat (again) at the Red Dog Saloon in Juneau, even though he said the food wasn’t the best. He doesn’t know it yet but he’s going to have to get tea if we visit London. I love tea!
WHAT TO DO IF THINGS GET WEIRD
Sometimes, things can get stressful. Adam and I struggled to get out of Phoenix when we traveled. For some reason, neither of us could get service and we drive around aimlessly, unsure of where to go (because GPS wasn’t working). During times like these, we can only be supportive of one another and apologize, afterward, if we let our frustration get the best of us.
Sometimes, taking a break is a good idea. We’re usually so busy, going from one activity to the next but, when we’re back at the room, one of us will usually go out on the balcony so that it feels like we’re alone for a moment. This is one of the benefits of always choosing rooms with balconies (for some breathing room).
Sometimes, I will go work out in the fitness center. Other times, I’ll take a bath while he watches tv. Little things like this, even if it’s for fifteen minutes, helps us recenter. Then, we’re reinvigorated and prepped for the next activity on our itinerary.